Tips on Etiquette

A simple “I’m sorry for your loss” is appropriate when offering your condolences. Say what feels right in the moment. Avoid phrases such as “they are in a better place” or “this is God’s plan” because they may not hold these views.

Key responsibilities of a funeral director include:

• Arranging for the deceased's removal and transfer from the place of death to the funeral home.
• Providing professional care for the deceased, such as embalming, casketing, and cosmetology.
• Meeting with the family to plan the funeral service.
• Completing necessary paperwork, including certificates and permits.
• Acquiring copies of the death certificate.
• Coordinating with cemeteries, crematories, or other final disposition locations.
• Writing and publishing the obituary.
• Organizing aspects of the service like clergy, music, flowers, transportation, pallbearers, and specialized fraternal or military tributes.
• Overseeing the funeral service and procession.
• Aiding the family with death-related claims and resources, such as Social Security, VA benefits, and grief support.

Learn what the dress code is beforehand. Now that funerals are more personalized, not everyone will want their guests to wear black. If there is no dress code, assume that you should dress conservatively, without bringing attention to yourself.

If the family has religious or ethnic customs different than your own, it is helpful to find out any special considerations before the service. You can ask us for advice and additional resources if you are unsure.

When there is an open-casket, guests are expected to visit the casket and pause for a moment of silence. You will know if the family will show you to the casket or if you are to approach it on your own. If you are uncomfortable viewing the deceased, you do not need to view them.

Typically, guests will send flowers, donate money, or give a memorial gift to the family of the deceased. Sometimes the family will make special requests depending on their situation.

Use your full name when signing the register book. You can also add your relation to the deceased

To avoid any disruptions, silence or turn off your phone before entering the funeral home.

Follow any of the rules posted on the signs around the cemetery. This includes cemetery hours and flower restrictions. They are written to help all guests have a peaceful experience visiting their loved one.

Give everyone their space and privacy, especially if a funeral is happening.

It is disrespectful to touch the headstones and monuments, as this can damage them. Never remove any of the items placed by the gravestone that could be left by a family.

Many mourners want quietness when they are visiting grave. Speak softly and quietly and have your phone silenced or off.

Never litter or leave behind your trash. Either find a garbage can or bring it with you.

Keep your eye on your children when at a cemetery. Do not allow them to be loud or run around.